Have I ever told y’all I’m ghetto?
I have some throwback pictures I may post one day but yea. Ya girl been ghetto before it was cool. I used to be ashamed but I worked through it. I am who I am. And I am ghetto.
Anyway, I came from a background where I used to fight. Blame it on Little People Syndrome, I had no problem getting out there. I spent my early years defending my older sister from bullies in the neighborhood (cue story about me going down the street and sliding an older kid) and my early adult years fighting in the club. Ghetto.
I find it funny how people love to pretend to be black and ghetto but don’t wanna fight. It’s a right of passage, sis! But anyway, this doesn’t matter. Moving along.
When Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood started, me and my best friend went head first into the mess. This was my first housewife/love and hip-hop exposure. I’d heard about the other shows but didn’t get on the wave so when this series started, I decided to dive in especially since it was new.
You know how people don’t like bandwagon fans? Well, that’s how I rationalized me joining the franchise. I would be starting from the beginning without having to learn anyone’s history.
Girl. If you have watched any of the shows, you know this one wasn’t any different. Mess. And I loved it. Tierra Marie and Moniece. Ms. Nikki Baby and that deadbeat man of hers. Drama. When Ray-J pushed Princess into that pool?! Couldn’t have been me! Did anyone still have talent? Didn’t care. I fell right in.
At some point, I started Basketball Wives: LA. Malaysia and Brandy were my girls. Okay?! But then Tammy came back and I didn’t like it, anymore.
But then I realized that these shows were taking me away from the person I was trying to become. I was no longer the twentysomething year old chick fighting in the club or the little girl fighting on the playground nor did I want to be and these shows were bringing back those feelings.
It reminded me that I still have it in me to go there and I wanted that out of me. That’s not who I wanted to be. As I separated from who I used to be, those shows were keeping that spirit alive and well in me.
And I’m not exaggerating. I would watch and be angry with them for not being able to fight because security got in the way. Like sometimes, people just need to be slapped, right?
These shows aren’t real life yet they were interfering with the person I was trying to become and I felt like I was cheating my future self. I had to learn to deal with those feelings, specifically my anger because at the end of the day, you can’t go around slapping people. Pretty sure assault is a felony or a charge I don’t want. And it’s not healthy. Plus, I don’t want my anger to be my first reaction. I want it to be understanding, empathy and maybe even kindness if I can find it in the moment. But I don’t wanna slap nobody.
This is not a call to stop watching the shows. This is very personal. Those shows are successful for a reason. But personally, I can’t.
Also, I used to be obsessed with 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom. But I stopped watching that because I just judged their life decisions. Way too invested. And when Farrah assaulted the production crew, I was done.