The ego manifests itself in many ways. One of the most prominent being social media. We thrive off those likes. Followers gas us. I really believe it affects us in ways we’ve yet to discover.
And we keep going back for more. Because it feels good.
Even if it’s not real. Even if it’s temporary. Every single day. We gotta see what’s poppin on the medias.
Some of us are addicted. Some have developed a balance. Some see it as a necessary evil. Some are in between somewhere. Still trying to figure it out.
But there’s no denying the euphoria that comes from likes and comments.
We say we’re humble but we’re still letting these niggas know. Why though? How important is it to let them know? Why do they need to know? What would anyone gain from this knowledge? What exactly are we letting them know?
Sometimes I wonder if I can step away. Could my ego handle it if no one saw how cute I looked today? Would I still put as much effort into my appearance if I wasn’t documenting it for friends to see and gas me?
Which begs the question: who am I really doing it for?
I know my ego needs to be checked. It controls so many parts of me. I’m sure it’s hindered me from opportunities to learn and grow but at the moment it won’t let me recall because well it’s my ego. Everything I do is justified right?
But I need balance and I’m sure you do too. Balance may mean separating myself from the thing that fuels my ego the most. The necessary evil. But I know what I want: a humble heart constantly seeking God and that means abandoning my ego which starts with the thing that fuels it. Well the most obvious thing.
I need to create. That need alone drives my ego insane. “What if people don’t like it? Just keep it to yourself. I don’t need to hear anyone’s opinion. Just post a selfie.” Because people will like that. That’s easy. But nothing worth having comes easy. The easy likes aren’t what God wants or what the people need from me. My stories are what will carry me but my ego keeps them saved on my laptop, away from judgement and criticism. And I’m left to wonder what the cost will be.
As always, take what you need and leave the rest.