18: Graduate from high school
19-21: Intern during the summer
22: Graduate from undergrad
24: Complete Master’s degree while working
24: Move up in company and run entire department all the while earning $70,000 with quarterly bonuses no less than $5000. Get engaged.
25: Married. Wedding paid for with bonuses. Honeymoon in Greece for 2 weeks.
27: Have first kid. Buy a house. Husband finished medical school.
29: Second kid born. Promotion at work because the patriarchy is dead and women who go on maternity leave are not in jeopardy of losing their job but get promoted.
30: Student loans paid off. Earning well over six figures. A husband, two kids and some money. Oh, and a Denali for me and the kids.
18: Graduated from high school
18-22: Work through college
20: My parents bought me a Saturn.
22.5: Finished undergrad.
23: Started a job in a call center making $37,000
24: Quit job. Went for Master’s degree full time. Worked several jobs in between.
25: Had the best birthday party ever. No one has topped it since.
26: Completed Master’s degree.
Honestly, 26-29 are a blur. I was a hot mess. Lord, have mercy. Emotionally and mentally I was a mess. Maybe it will all make sense one day. Maybe that part of my life will help someone out. I won’t even read my journals from those years.
I am the queen of compartmentalizing and I am incredibly passive. When I tell you I have blocked out 26-29 I could be being a tad bit dramatic but I don’t recall much. If someone were to reminisce with me I’d reluctantly indulge but woo. Yea. And maybe not all of 29. But regardless. A. Mess.
30: Thank God for Jesus. Thank God for grace and mercy and favor. Thank God for continuously pulling me back in over and over and over and for never giving up on me. God is good. Oh, I still have the Saturn.
This past decade, hell this year, has been filled with lessons and trials and all kinds of things I can barely put into words. Every experience brought me to the place where I am now so I can’t help but be grateful. I’m far from where I used to be and I am not the same person I once was. I’m glad the timeline I mapped out didn’t go as I intended. That timeline is one of the many prayers I’m glad God didn’t answer. We really think we know what we want and need until we realize have no idea.
I said all this to say: stay in your lane. Y’all know I’m anti-social medias right now. Don’t have those people rushing you or questioning what God is doing in your life. God’s plan is PERFECT. What you see in those pictures and those statuses are mere glimpses into someone’s life, a moment in time. You don’t get to see what happens behind closed doors when the cameras aren’t snapping and they log off for the day. You don’t see the long hours that go into building that business. You only see the likes. The counseling sessions to sustain that marriage. You only saw the wedding. They have a whole covenant with God to maintain. The parenting books to raise those kids. You only see the cute kid. Not the sleepless nights and explaining why they can’t poop in the bathtub. The college courses to get the promotion. All you know was they got a raise but missed the fact that it cost them time away from their families. The WORK that God has done in them and through them to get them to the place that they are now. You don’t get to see the SACRIFICE.
And you don’t need to see any of it. You don’t deserve to know their story. All you need to know is that God has you too. No need to compare or figure out what He’s going to do for you. He’s kept you this far and He will continue to do so. Let God work! What good is it if you know what His next move is going to be? Glory belongs to Him. And he doesn’t have to let you know His next move. It’s called faith. Operate in your faith.
Randomness That Has Nothing with Anything:
What are you willing to SACRIFICE?
Move from a place of what can God do for you to what you can do for God. How can you be of service to His people?
You don’t need more time or money or resources. You have everything you need. If you’re supposed to do it, then God has already given you what you need.
I had a brief text exchange with a friend about the fact that Aubrey Graham is being a deadbeat dad. I really try to let these celebrities be but I’m really disappointed in him. But at the end of the day, he’s modeling what he knows a father to be.
I switched the cover pic up this week. I think I like this one better.
Alright, I’m out this joint. Have a glorious weekend.